HAH! Rules on the white house webpage....

Gifts & Items Sent to the White House


The President and the First Lady strongly encourage all Americans to consider sending contributions to their favorite charities in lieu of gifts to the First Family.  (You might want to start with yourself because we're shutting down charities and the biggest charity is going to be the government!  We bought your votes by taking your money and giving it back to you!)

For security reasons, please do not send perishable gifts -- such as food, liquids or flowers -- to the White House. The White House is unable to accept cash, checks, bonds, gift certificates, foreign currency, or other monetary equivalents. (We take it directly out of your paycheck anyways so we already got the money) Additionally, items sent to the White House are often significantly delayed and can be irreparably harmed during the security screening process. (Kind of like what we're doing to the country....we hope you see the pattern...) Therefore, please do not send items of personal importance, such as family photographs, because items may not be returned.  (However, you may be meeting your loved ones in a concentration camp for dissenting against The Government and all you will have is memories, so please, in an act of kindness....we are advising you to keep them)



While President Obama, the First Lady, Vice President Biden, and Dr. Biden (That must be Biden's wife) appreciate your thoughtfulness and generosity, they request that instead you look to your local community for opportunities to assist your neighbors in need.  (You're going to have to when we get done because we sure as hell aren't going to be helping with any of the billions of dollars we've stolen from you)